just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
