You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize