my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
