I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
