Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
