I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize