So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
