im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
