Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My vagina is officially offended.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
