if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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