i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
