I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize