i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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