Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
