yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
