I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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