two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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