Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I bet he comes in French.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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