So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
