Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
