I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize