he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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