im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
false alarm. still invincible.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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