Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
