just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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