oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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