theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you never un-have a 4some
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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