so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
