Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
