Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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