I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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