the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize