I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
