she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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