I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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