so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
