is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
