I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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