she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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