please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
3 2 1 whiskey
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
