Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
