i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
