Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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