I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize