super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
