I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just come out here and I will go home with you...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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