I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
