Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
