she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
