Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
