So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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