Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
