I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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