one two three fourrrrnication!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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