Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
