I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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