My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
