It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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