You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think a kid would responsible me up
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
