So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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