I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize