She is in my trunk
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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