I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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