god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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