So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
