i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
