Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
