the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
