I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
