i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
