there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
