the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
