Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
