Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have fence marks all over my body
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
