Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize