No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
