I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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