Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
