Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
