I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My ATM looks so different sober.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
