So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize