Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
