Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
