It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
